Adult Quotes 6

We're adults? Wait.... when did that happen?!!

...women think there clever because they can fake an orgasm,try being male,we have to fake a relationship just to get some sex!lol

The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money

This attitude is brought to you by the letters F and U!!

why cant a man ever please a woman? because no man has a willy made of chocolate that ejaculates money

If u have a donkey and I have a rooster, and your donkey ate my rooster's 2 feet, what do u have? 2 feet of my cock in your ass...lmao

Good news is I'm smiling. Bad news is it's the kind of smile that people should fear.

Is as hungry as a baby in a topless bar!

says, "sex is like a restaurant - sometimes u get excellent service, sometimes u get very poor service, and sometimes u just have to settle for self-service" =D

Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it's wide use 3 fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

Wife comes home and says "What would you do if I won the lottery?" "I would take half and leave your ass!" "good I won 12$ here's 6$ now get the fuck out!"

~ A couple had a fight one night when they were going to bed, Husband Taunted:Good night mother of 3 kids. Wife Replied:Good night Father of none.

question of the day:

if you do it in a shower is it still considered "dirty"

Question of the day: You are in bed with a hot girl and a gay guy and you are all naked. Who do you turn your back to when you go to sleep?

i'm a cowgirl boot wearin', 4-wheeler ridin', gun shootin', cheap wine drinkin', rodeo watchin', not afraid to get dirty country girl and proud of it!!

a guy walks into his house with a duck and says "this is the pig Ive been fucking" his wife says "that's a duck not a pig" he says "i was talking to the duck

What do men do after sex? 6% smoke a cigarette, 4% sigh and talk a little, 8% go to sleep right away and the remaining 82% dress in a hurry and drive home.

How are woman and tornado's alike? They both moan when they come, and take the house when they leave.

~ A man asked a fairy to make him desirable &  irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.

says Maths teacher asks Essex Girl wot comes after 69? Essex Girls says  u wash ur face and rinse ur mouth with Listerine..Duh!!

wants to know: Do midget hookers charge half price??

is thinking when I grow up I want to drive an ice cream truck for adults and sell frozen margaritas and daiquiri's!

if you think your life sucks just remember that out of millions of sperms you decided you wanted to be the fastest one!!