Adult Quotes 5

I would stop drinking, but when I was younger I was taught not to give up.

WARNING-Interesting to play with, but dont piss off. Not recommended for those that give a damn. Can go from Sweet to BITCH  in .000001 seconds. Unwrap & enjoy.

was asked what he wanted in a woman, and apparently 'my cock' is not an acceptable answer!

It's better to keep your mouth shut and let people THINK you're a fucking idiot, than to open your mouth and prove them right.

has just found out what hitting the ctrl and w button does.. try it you'll laugh =]

A banana and a vibrator were on a table. Banana says to the vibrator, "I don't know what the fuck you're shaking for, the bitch is going to eat me!"

Q. what do you do when there's a cop car behind you, a hippo in front you, and a pony beside you? A. stop drinking, and get off the kids' merry-go-round

why did the chicken feel happy,when a cat fell in a pool...Because a wet pussy makes a cock happy

Little boy in the bath with mum. Boy says 'whats that hairy thing?' mum says 'its my sponge' boy says  'oh yeah i saw auntie Kim washing dads face with hers!

says a jellybaby walks into docs office with a liquorice stuck to his penis the doc asks, wot the hell ave u been doin, jellybabys says fuckin allsorts!!

says, party like a rock star...live like a movie star...f*ck like a porn star...go out like a shooting star

I got a new radio 4 my truck I say Rock, it plays Rock. I say Rap, it plays Rap. 2 kids ran in front of me i said fucking kids, it played Michael Jackson !

loves something beginning with P and ending in ORN.

Do u know the answer? Yes, it's popcorn.

Was that what u were thinking?

Of course it was... lol

says that women will never be totally satisfied until men have chocolate penis's and ejaculate money

says if you have any complaints please email my complaints department at

complaints@likeigiveafuck.com

and todays word is............ .. BOLLOCKS

has decided he wants to be Santa .. because Santa knows where all the naughty girls live.

roses are red, nuts are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it  is stiff, stick it in! (now that is a love poem)

when someone you don't know calls on the phone answer it and say,"Westwood sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it!"

happy happy joy joy

you're my kinky sex toy

f*ck me suck me

make me scream

kinky sex is all i need!!!