Adult Quotes 7

id love to be a bird....theres a few people i would take great pleasure in shitting on :)

Whats the worst thing U can do to a blind man?   Leave the plunger in the toilet!!

If you could read my mind right now, you'd be blushing!  It's always the quiet ones you have to watch ;-)

What's the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out! lmao

I wanna do it with you. I wanna make you hot & sweaty. I wanna hear your heart beat. I wanna hear us breathing heavily. Let's do it. Let's go jogging!

wife screams at his husband in the delivery room, "YOU DID THIS TO ME!", husband replies " I wanted to put it in your ass, and you said THAT would hurt!"

Asks: What do you do if your Ex is limping around and bleeding in you're back yard???

Take a deep breath, focus, reload, and shoot again

a girl goes to the shop and buys 1 apple, 1 egg and 1 pie.The grocer says "i bet your single" the girl replies "how did u no?" cos u an ugly f**ker !!

As Kids we had Lemon-aid stands to make a little extra money, So since we are adults now can I have a liquor-stand to raise money?

farmer walks in his bedroom wiv a sheep under his arm "this is the pig i have to fuk wen ur not up to it" "that's a sheep u idiot" "i was talkin to the sheep"

A teacher asks an Alabama  redneck girl to use "handsome" in a sentence.

he says, "When I'm giving head and my jaw gets sore I use my handsome." lol

surprise sex is the best way 2 B woken up..unless your in prison